Tonight I was lying on the living room floor. Staring at the ceiling and it's shadows from the light with burned out light bulbs. One solitary light shined.
I was reflecting on my day and the many things that are on my mind. My thoughts were swirling together, bleeding one problem to the next. My mind caught hold upon the personal goal that I had set for myself a few days ago, to walk as the Master walks as challenged by an apostle of the Lord:
“Trust me, learn of me, do what I do. Then, when you walk where I am going,” He says, “we can talk about where you are going, and the problems you face and the troubles you have. If you will follow me, I will lead you out of darkness,” He promises. “I will give you answers to your prayers. I will give you rest to your souls.”
My goal is to go through my day and approach each person, problem, or situation how the Savior would. I asked myself, how my walk was today. I tried to walk through my day and the string of events. Nothing stood out as significant. And then, little thoughts would come into my mind. Little small, perhaps insignificant details, began to shine.
I am realizing that the Savior didn't go about with busy to do lists. Boxes to check off. He had a mission, there is no doubt about that, but He seemed to be content with the small acts of kindness and even miracle that he encountered throughout his day. Allowing his environment, wherever he may be to guide his actions. Take the man he found on the road to Jericho.
And when he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to cry out, and say, Jesus, thou Son of David, have mercy on me.And many charged him that he should hold his peace: but he cried the more a great deal, Thou Son of David, have mercy on me.And Jesus stood still, and commanded him to be called. And they call the ablind man, saying unto him, Be of good comfort, rise; he calleth thee.And Jesus answered and said unto him, What wilt thou that I should do unto thee? The blind man said unto him, Lord, that I might receive my sight.52 And Jesus said unto him, Go thy way; thy faith hath made thee whole.
To Jesus, this didn't seem to take to much from him. Maybe but a few minutes out of his day. But what that man received will never be forgotten. I have been the recipient of many, many, MANY small but significant acts of service from those who took a few minutes out of their day. That was no small thing for me.And immediately he received his sight, and followed Jesus in the way.
This scripture passage tugs at my heart strings for many reasons. 1. I am blind. I get blinded by my own will and pride. When called out on it, I feel a deep desire to plead the Lord for mercy. And it seems, that this man, had to beg and "[cry] the more a great deal". Sometimes it might take a while for my pleas of mercy to be heard. Be patient. 2. The man first received the invitation to Be of good comfort. I cannot expect the Savior to help me if I am not going to allow myself his peace! He THEN could cast off his garment, rise, and go to Jesus. BUT. He. Could. Not. See. He had to step into the proverbial darkness and step toward the Savior in order to be healed. I, like most, like to know where I am headed. When I don't know, I feel lost and even in darkness. When I cast off everything and seek Him, I am able to approach the throne of grace with full humility, ready to accept what he has to offer. 3. Jesus knew for what the blind man came for. But asked him the question anyway. "What wilt thou that I should do unto thee?" That question is the same for me. What would I have the Savior do unto me? My answer is the same as the blind man's. That I might receive my sight. That I might see others around me who have a need to fill. That I might see when one of my children just needs a hug. That I might see my weaknesses and be humble enough to change. That I might see myself as He sees me so that I don't sell myself short. That I might truly see with eyes that see and hear with ears that hear. 4. I would imagine that if one were to get to the point of getting sight where there was once blindness there would be an instant heartfelt gratitude for the new perspective and an immense love for the Savior to be able to heal in such a way. I have many times been on the receiving end of seeing things in a new light. It is a humbling and a thrilling experience. For at that moment in time, I saw that my faith was sufficient. I was made whole. He immediately received sight, and then followed Jesus in his way. THAT is the part that I must remember. It is not enough to live off a few experiences and expect that my sight will always be there. It is not enough to expect constant revelation to flow without the constant checks and balances against the obedience that I am showing to his commandments.
There are always things in my life that need correcting. Just as contact lenses or glasses help to bring vision into better clarity, I am the process of doing a deep cleansing of my own lenses. I was struggling to know how to do that in a way that would be pleasing to the Lord. From the counsel of Holland, I was reminded that as I walk as the Master walks. When I do as he does, I find that it is on that journey that clarity comes. From the small acts of kindness that are all around me, perspective comes into view and I can see just how powerful walking in His way can be. THEN as Holland says, He "will give you answers to your prayers. [He] will give you rest to your souls.”
I will "Let [my] light so shine before men, that they may see [my] good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." That is my goal. To give the glory back to the Father who gives me everything so that I can see a little more clearly on my way, have answers to my prayers and rest to my soul.
