Walk as the Master Walks...

Editor's Note:  For whatever reason, blogger is not letting me have the format I want with the paragraphs, size, etc.  I cannot figure out how to fix it.  I apologize for the schizophrenic sizing, etc!)
 
Tonight I was lying on the living room floor.  Staring at the ceiling and it's shadows from the light with burned out light bulbs.  One solitary light shined.

  I was reflecting on my day and the many things that are on my mind.  My thoughts were swirling together, bleeding one problem to the next.  My mind caught hold upon the personal goal that I had set for myself a few days ago, to walk as the Master walks as challenged by an apostle of the Lord:

“Trust me, learn of me, do what I do. Then, when you walk where I am going,” He says, “we can talk about where you are going, and the problems you face and the troubles you have. If you will follow me, I will lead you out of darkness,” He promises. “I will give you answers to your prayers. I will give you rest to your souls.”

My  goal is to go through my day and approach each person, problem, or situation how the Savior would.  I asked myself, how my walk was today.  I tried to walk through my day and the string of events.  Nothing stood out as significant.  And then, little thoughts would come into my mind.  Little small, perhaps insignificant details, began to shine. 

I am realizing that the Savior didn't go about with busy to do lists.  Boxes to check off.  He had a mission, there is no doubt about that, but He seemed to be content with the small acts of kindness and even miracle that he encountered throughout his day.  Allowing his environment, wherever he may be to guide his actions.  Take the man he found on the road to Jericho.

    And they came to Jericho: and as he went out of Jericho with his disciples and a great number of people, blind Bartimæus, the son of Timæus, sat by the highway side begging.

  And when he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to cry out, and say, Jesus, thou Son of David, have mercy on me.

  And many charged him that he should hold his peace: but he cried the more a great deal, Thou Son of David, have mercy on me.

 And Jesus stood still, and commanded him to be called. And they call the ^ablind man, saying unto him, Be of good comfort, rise; he calleth thee.

  And he, casting away his garment, rose, and came to Jesus.

 And Jesus answered and said unto him, What wilt thou that I should do unto thee? The blind man said unto him, Lord, that I might receive my sight.

 52 And Jesus said unto him, Go thy way; thy faith hath made thee whole.

And immediately he received his sight, and followed Jesus in the way.

To Jesus, this didn't seem to take to much from him.  Maybe but a few minutes out of his day.  But what that man received will never be forgotten.  I have been the recipient of many, many, MANY small but significant acts of service from those who took a few minutes out of their day.  That was no small thing for me.
This scripture passage tugs at my heart strings for many reasons.  1.  I am blind.  I get blinded by my own will and pride.  When called out on it, I feel a deep desire to plead the Lord for mercy.  And it seems, that this man, had to beg and "[cry] the more a great deal".  Sometimes it might take a while for my pleas of mercy to be heard.  Be patient.  2. The man first received the invitation to Be of good comfort.  I cannot expect the Savior to help me if I am not going to allow myself his peace! He THEN could cast off his garment, rise, and go to Jesus. BUT. He. Could. Not. See.  He had to step into the proverbial darkness and step toward the Savior in order to be healed.  I, like most, like to know where I am headed.  When I don't know, I feel lost and even in darkness.  When I cast off everything and seek Him, I am able to approach the throne of grace with full humility, ready to accept what he has to offer.  3.  Jesus knew for what the blind man came for. But asked him the question anyway.  "What wilt thou that I should do unto thee?"  That question is the same for me.  What would I have the Savior do unto me?  My answer is the same as the blind man's.  That I might receive my sight.  That I might see others around me who have a need to fill.  That I might see when one of my children just needs a hug.  That I might see my weaknesses and be humble enough to change.  That I might see myself as He sees me so that I don't sell myself short.  That I might truly see with eyes that see and hear with ears that hear.  4. I would imagine that if one were to get to the point of getting sight where there was once blindness there would be an instant heartfelt gratitude for the new perspective and an immense love for the Savior to be able to heal in such a way.  I have many times been on the receiving end of seeing things in a new light.  It is a humbling and a thrilling experience.  For at that moment in time, I saw that my faith was sufficient.  I was made whole.  He immediately received sight, and then followed Jesus in his way.  THAT is the part that I must remember.  It is not enough to live off a few experiences and expect that my sight will always be there.  It is not enough to expect constant revelation to flow without the constant checks and balances against the obedience that I am showing to his commandments.

There are always things in my life that need correcting.  Just as contact lenses or glasses help to bring vision into better clarity, I am the process of doing a deep cleansing of my own lenses.  I was struggling to know how to do that in a way that would be pleasing to the Lord.  From the counsel of Holland, I was reminded that as I walk as the Master walks.  When I do as he does, I find that it is on that journey that clarity comes.  From the small acts of kindness that are all around me, perspective comes into view and I can see just how powerful walking in His way can be. THEN as Holland says, He "will give you answers to your prayers. [He] will give you rest to your souls.”

I will "Let [my] light so shine before men, that they may see [my] good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven."  That is my goal.  To give the glory back to the Father who gives me everything so that I can see a little more clearly on my way, have answers to my prayers and rest to my soul.

The Storm

Last  night I traveled through some pretty crazy weather.  I was on unfamiliar roads and the night was pitch dark except when illuminated by the bright lightening.  At many times I felt a sense of panic as I could not see through the covered windshield where my wipers were not good enough on their fastest settings.  The sense of responsibility of carrying my precious cargo weighed heavy upon my ability to handle this storm we found ourselves in. 

As I navigated the streets and highways to get to my final destination I could not help but parallel my journey to that of those in Lehi's dream.  I found myself in utter darkness clinging to the markers that were placed before. 

As I followed the cars and trucks in front of me, I thought of the chaos of water that got kicked up from the large semi's as they navigated their way through the water logged streets, spraying cars that dared to get close.  As I passed them I held on for dear life as the water became almost too much for me to handle as I couldn't see anything.  As soon as I passed these monsters of water, there was calm on the other side.  Many cars were lining up behind these trucks seeking safety only to be showered with even more water.  "Many were drowned in the depths of the fountain; and many were lost from [my] view, wandering in strange roads." (1 Nephi 8:32)

How many times do we get stuck with something that we can't get over?  Someone offended you, a point of doctrine, a trial that we don't want, sin and weakness... Are we drowning in the over spray without the desire to take that blind step forward where the water is most intense to find the peace on the other side?  

As I came off a major street and on to a highway I could scarcely see in front of me.  I could barely make out the massive signs that pointed which lane I should be in so that I would not get lost in unknown roads.  I found myself very grateful that the roads were familiar to me, that I had traveled here before.  As I made it onto the highway that would ultimately take me to my destination I felt determined to make it safely there and to do the best I could.  And then I realized the true danger I was in!  I could not rely on my abilities alone to weather through this storm.  There were so many things that were out of my control.  The severity of the weather, the ability of other drivers to journey safely, the road conditions... All these things were not in my control.  As I realized these things, I caught hold upon a few things.  One.  My Father in Heaven knows where I am.  He knows what I am facing and He will not leave me alone.  Two.  The Spirit has been my companion now for a long time.  He will warn me and guide me.  Three.  I have traveled these roads before.  It was familiar to me.  Four.  Although my whole body was tense with adrenaline, I felt peace.  Five.  Sometimes, you have to let go and trust.

Earlier in the day as I was preparing for this little trip I was prompted to get an extra set of contacts as I wear daily disposables.  Dismissing it as a silly thought and wondering if it were a true prompting, I did not heed the suggestion.  Shortly into my day, it became very apparent why I was prompted.  Both contacts had tears in them.  Throughout the day I dealt with the consequences of not listening.  It was uncomfortable, painful, and not pleasant.  The real problem was when my contacts clouded my vision with my already blurred windshield.  I again was reminded.  Listen and follow promptings no matter how small or silly it seems.  It was not a small thing when my family's safety was in jeopardy.

As I traveled these dark and misty roads I caught hold upon the promptings and feelings that were guiding me. I was listening and heeding as I sped up to pass the chaos trucks or slowed down because of the water on the roads.  As I continued "pressing forward and caught hold" upon the promptings and peace that I was feeling despite the treacherous conditions, I realized that I was going to be okay.  Whatever the outcome, I was being watched over.

I made it to our exit and gratefully navigated home.  As I tucked my children into bed, I was relieved that we had made it through an intense storm and I was safe inside a sheltered home.  As the storm still raged outside and pounded on the windows, I tasted of the fruit of knowing that I made it to the end.

Life will continue to pound upon me.  It is not a guess.  It is a promise.  Even as I weather, "Mighty winds, yea [the] shafts in the whirlwind, yea and when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon [me] it shall have no power over [me] to drag [me] down to the gulf of endless wo, because of the rock upon which [I] am built, which is a sure foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall." (Helaman. 5:12)

I will continue to do things that make following promptings and obeying familiar things like reading my scriptures and saying earnest prayer.  When the time comes to travel familiar roads but with a massive storm beating upon me, I will still be able to navigate through.  When I can't see, He can.  When I don't know what is up ahead, He does.

The fruit I tasted when I got home was delicious.  It was that of sleeping children, tucked safely into their beds.

Remembering

Anyone who knows me really well knows that I do not have a good memory.  I often called Dory from the movie “Finding Nemo”.  I can re-read a book and it could be brand new for me.  My kids find this trait of mine quite awesome and use it to their advantage…

I use a variety of techniques to help me remember.  I have a calendar on my phone and write all of my appointments in there.  I write things on sticky notes or make lists.  Sometimes objects help me remember like daisies, pinwheels, or music.  But those things for a different reason for remembering.

 

On April 25^th 2008,nearly five years ago, I had the privilege of holding an angel.  She was perfect.  She was pure and she was silent.  While in labor, my sweet daughter passed away.  I don’t need a reminder on my phone to tell me to remember my Rebecca Phoebe.  I don’t need sticky notes on my computer or a list to write down.  She is forever etched into my heart.  The remembering that I do for her is much more  eternally deep place.  I will never forget her.

Every Sunday we as members of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints have the privilege of renewing our baptismal covenants by partaking of the sacrament.  We are commanded to always remember or Savior Jesus Christ and in return we will always have His Spirit to be with us.  Is the Savior etched deep into our hearts?

Elder D. Todd Christofferson said, “The sacramental prayers confirm that one of the central purposes of the sacrament as instituted by the Lord Jesus Christ is that we might “always remember him”.  Remembering the Savior obviously includes remembering his Atonement, which is symbolically represented by the bread and water as emblems of His suffering and death.  We must never forget what He did for us, for without His Atonement and Resurrection, life would have no meaning. With His Atonement and Resurrection, howver, our lives have eternal, divine possibilities.”   

 

We covenant to always remember our Savior and to keep His commandments and in return we will always have His Spirit to be with us.  Let’s talk about the opposite of remembering.  Let’s talk about forgetting our Father’s mighty hand.

In the Book of Mormon we are constantly reminded by Nephi’s faithfulness to the commandments that he and his family were given.  As some of his family were desirous to return back to the wicked Jerusalem Nephi said this, “Yea, and how is it that ye have forgotten what great things the Lord hath done for us.. Yea and how is it that ye have forgotten that the Lord is able to do ALL THINGS according to his will, for the children of men, if it so be that they exercise faith in him.  Wherefore, let us be faithful to him. “

I have noticed that it is pretty easy to go with the flow and not count blessings as much when life is going well and perhaps forget the daily blessings that are given to us.  What are you forgetting that the Lord has done for you?  It is easier for me to get through the trials of my life when I remember the small and simple things that I have been given and to remember that the Lord is involved in the details of our lives.  Even to the smallest of details.

Mosiah reminds us in Mosiah chapter 2 of the things that maybe we take for granted.  He said:  -I say unto you that if ye should serve him who has created you from the beginning and is preserving you from day to day by lending you breath that ye may live and move and do according to your own will and even supporting you from one moment to another- I say, if ye should serve him with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants.  AND BEHOLD ALL THE HE REQUIRES OF YOU IS TO KEEP HIS COMMANDMENTS… for if ye do, he doth IMMEDIATELY BLESS YOU.

This verse hit me with a lot of force shortly after I lost my daughter.  Anyone who has lost someone dear to their hearts knows how precious even breathing can be.  Even living one more day.  There have been many times as I have been crumpled on my knees, too weary to carry my heavy load any longer and I choose consciously to keep his commandments more fully and I receive immediate blessings and peace spoken to my soul.  Remember His hand even in the small things.

I would like to shift from the forgetting the Lord in our lives to two other things where it may be hard to always remember him.  Those two things are afflictions and sins.  Sometimes you have afflictions because of your own choices and other times because the choices of others.  Either way, the Lord gives afflictions so that we may come back to Him. 

In 1 Nephi 17:41, it says:

“And he did straigten them in the wilderness with his rod; for they hardened their hearts, even as ye have; and the Lord straigtened them because of their iniquity.  He sent fiery flying serpents among them; and after they were bitten he prepared a way that they might be healed; and the labor which they had to perform was to look; and because of the simpleness of the way, or the easiness of it, there were many who perished.”

We all have fiery serpents in our lives that our scary and devastating.  We all have the simple antedote to the bites of life.  It is to look to the Savior and live.  The Lord saves the righteous! Then the righteous may forget.  He straightens them because he wants them back.  Sometimes the straightening is severe.  But the way back is simple.  Look and Live!  The Lord understands the human nature of cycles.  Be gentle and humble yourself when you see yourself straying.  There is power in faith and obedience. There is always peace and healing to be had after trial and sin.  All you have to do is look.

 In Jacob 3:1- But behold, I, Jacob, would speak unto you that are pure in heart.  LOOK unto God with firmness of mind, and pray unto him with exceeding faith, and he will console you in your afflictions, and he will plead your cause.

  “Look” has the imagery of turning away from what concerns you and turning to God with firmness and not getting distracted by the trial at hand.  When you do that He WILL console.  I have had experiences where I consciously chose to LOOK and was immediately blessed.  Remember to LOOK!

I love reading about Lehi’s son Jacob.  Even the preface of what Lehi gives him gives an indicator at how much more Jacob understands because of afflictions that he was born into.  1 And now, Jacob, I speak unto you: Thou art my ^afirstborn in the days of my tribulation in the wilderness. And behold, in thy childhood thou hast suffered afflictions and much sorrow, because of the rudeness of thy brethren.

 2 Nevertheless, Jacob, my firstborn in the wilderness, thou knowest the greatness of God; and he shall consecrate thine ^aafflictions for thy gain.

FOR IT MUST NEEDS BE AN OPPOSITION IN ALL THINGS.  If not so, my first-born in the wildernss, righteousness could not be brought to pass.. And if there be no righteousness there be no happiness

If we didn’t have opposition, whether it comes in the form of sin or affliction, we could experience no happiness for we wouldn’t know the difference. 

In 3 Nephi chapter 27:14-15 it says “And my Father sent me that I might be lifted up upon the cross; and after that I had been lifted up upon the cross, that I might draw all men unto me, that as I have been lifted up by men even so should men be lifted up by the Father, to stand before me, to be judged of their works, whether they be good or whether they be evil—

“And for this cause have I been lifted up; therefore, according to the power of the Father I will draw all men unto me, that they may be judged according to their works”

I firmly believe that we all have our own cross to bear.  Maybe it is illness, financial difficulties, wayward loved ones, loss of loved ones, being single, or the inability to have children.  The list can go on and on.  It has been in my own gethsemanes where I have learned the most.  Those times where you feel utterly alone and that no person can truly understand what you are going through.  Those times when you wish you could pass on that bitter cup.  I am coming to realize that when I passing through my intense sorrow and grief, heaven is never closer.  When I lift my eyes, mind and heart and remember Him you lifted himself on the cross for me, do I remember that he bore all things so that he may know how to succor me.  This is where the Sacrament promise to always remember him can come to my rescue because as I remember, I remember the hope that is the Savior.    

To those who are weary with trying to continue to provide the necessities of life remembering this scripture can bring the rest that you may need- Come, my brethren, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters; and he that hath no money, come buy and eat; yea, come buy wine and milk without money and without price.  Wherefore, do not spend money for that whish is of no worth, nor your labor for that which cannot satisfy.  Hearken diligently unto me, and REMEMBER the words that I have spokem; and come unto the Holy One of Isreal, and FEAST upon that which perisheth not, neither can be corrupted, and let your soul delight in fatness

As I carry my own cross through life, I am not alone as the Savior was. In the Liberty Jail where Joseph Smith experienced his own Gesthemane, we read of incredible words of strength and courage given to Joseph Smith.  Here is what the Lord said to Joseph in Section 122

5 If thou art called to pass through ^atribulation…

 6 If thou art ^aaccused with all manner of false accusations; if thine enemies fall upon thee; if they tear thee from the society of thy father and mother and brethren and sisters; and if with a drawn sword thine enemies tear thee from the bosom of thy wife, and of thine offspring, and thine elder son, although but six years of age, shall cling to thy garments, and shall say, My father, my father, why can’t you stay with us? O, my father, what are the men going to do with you? and if then he shall be thrust from thee by the sword, and thou be dragged to ^bprison, and thine enemies prowl around thee like ^cwolves for the blood of the lamb;

 7 And if thou shouldst be cast into the ^apit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the ^bdeep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to ^chedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of ^dhell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee ^eexperience, and shall be for thy good.

 8 The ^aSon of Man hath ^bdescended below them all. Art thou greater than he?

All these experiences shall be for our good.  And the Savior experienced them all.  Most readings of this passage ends on the “Art thou greater than he” but the next sentence to me seals the deal. 

 9 Therefore, ^ahold on thy way!

Hold on thy way!  Keep putting that one foot in front of the other.  Hold fast to the teachings and commandments that are given to us.  Put your faith in the Master who knows the intimate corners of your heart.  Remember him!  Remember him that we may have joy.  Because after affliction comes joy.

Now for the how. 

Remember that scripture I read earlier about the fiery serpents.  Where those who were bitten just needed to look and live?  Our “how” is the same.  Very simple.  Very effective.

D. Todd Christofferson said:

We should first put in place the things that make it possible to always remember Him—frequent prayer and scripture study, thoughtful study of apostolic teachings, weekly preparation to partake of the sacrament worthily, Sunday worship, and recording and remembering what the Spirit and experience teach us about discipleship.

In short, to “always remember him” means that we do not live our lives in fear. We know that challenges, disappointments, and sorrows will come to each of us in different ways, but we also know that in the end, because of our divine Advocate, all things can be made to work together for our good.  It is the faith expressed so simply by President Gordon B. Hinckley  when he would say, “Things will work out.” ⁴ When we always remember the Savior, we can “cheerfully do all things that lie in our power,” confident that His power and love for us will see us through.

May we always remember Him—“that [we] may always have his spirit to be with [us]”   I bear my witness of the power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I bear witness of the reality of the living, resurrected Lord. I bear witness of the infinite and personal love of the Father and the Son for each of us, and I pray that we will live in constant remembrance of that love in all its expressions.” 

I love that phrase, “Things will work out.”  Keeping that in your head and the Savior in your heart, you cannot fail. 

My experience with my precious Phoebe is one that I would never trade.  The veil was so thin those few times that I was in her precense.  I had a taste of what heaven must be like even through my intense sadness and grief.  It is difficult traveling through this world without her.  It would be even more difficult without the atonement that was made to make it possible to see her again. 

As I always remember my savior I am able to see his mighty hand in my life even through some of life’s toughest challenges.  As I LOOK and LIVE I am healed from life’s stings.  As I remember and hold on my way, I am saved to be lifted up at the last day.  Just as the Savior was lifted up on the cross, I too will be lifted up because of his redeeming love. 

 I miss my daughter, but I don’t need a reminder to remember her.  As I remember my Savior I am carried through the afflictions of this life to grow and experience joy that I have never felt before.  I am not forgotten even if at times I don’t always remember him.

1 Nephi 21 it says, “For can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the [daughter] of her womb?  I will not forget thee. Behold I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands. 

How grateful I am that I am safe in his hands.