Brushstrokes

It's been a little rough here lately.  Things that used to come easy are taking more effort.  Things that were hard may even be a little harder.  On the other hand, I see change and growth occurring that one might even call it miraculous.

One thing that has been a little difficult lately has been family scripture study.  We had been doing really well for quite some time.  We had fun, we learned a lot, and had some great discussions... And before you think that this was most of the time, it would probably be more the exception not the rule but we were consistent.  I absolutely love David Bednar's talk "More Dilligent and Concerned at Home" when he said,

Sometimes Sister Bednar and I wondered if our efforts to do these spiritually essential things were worthwhile. Now and then verses of scripture were read amid outbursts such as “He’s touching me!” “Make him stop looking at me!” “Mom, he’s breathing my air!” Sincere prayers occasionally were interrupted with giggling and poking. And with active, rambunctious boys, family home evening lessons did not always produce high levels of edification. At times Sister Bednar and I were exasperated because the righteous habits we worked so hard to foster did not seem to yield immediately the spiritual results we wanted and expected.

It made me realize that if an apostle of the Lord had experienced the same thing that is a daily occurrence in my home, than I must be doing something right! I have been worried however at the lack of response and even interest that was being given so that I began to have study less and less.  And then more contention began happening.  Of course I did not correlate the two until I was fed up and was driven to my knees to ask what I might do to bring unity back into the home.  The answer?  You guessed it.  It came in many ways actually.

First, a single thought.  Read scriptures together daily.

Second, a reminder of President Hinckley's promise.

"I promise you that if each of you will [read the Book of Mormon], regardless of how many times you previously may have read the Book of Mormon, there will come into your lives and into your homes an added measure of the Spirit of the Lord, a strengthened resolution to walk in obedience to His commandments, and a stronger testimony of the living reality of the Son of God."

Third, from the same talk from David Bednar (not realizing it was the same talk!) the thought of brushstrokes.  When looking at a painted field of wheat when looking at the whole field of wheat, one may not realize the time spent in creating that field.  When zoomed in and closely inspecting the field, one begins to realize that each strand of wheat needed to be painted.  That is a lot of brush strokes!

So, armed with new resolution, I would hold scripture study.  Things did not go well, friends.  Not well at all, I am afraid.  Sure, there were good moments, but often my patience was worn so thin that wouldn't even be able to get through a few verses before I had to be done for the night.  How was I to receive the promised blessings if this were to be the state of our studying?!  I would then repeat the mantra, "Brushstrokes.  Brushstrokes."

I continued on determined.  We still weren't as regular as I would have hoped but we were better.  I thought of a message by another modern day apostle of the Lord Russell M. Nelson.

 "Don't demand things that are unreasonable, but demand of yourself improvement.  As you let the Lord help you through that, he will make up the difference."

Okay.  I can do improvement.  I asked around for ideas that might be able to spruce up our reading together.  I realized that I had a family full of readers now!  Minus the youngest, I now had the majority of my kids able to read even if painstakingly slow!  It was time to change my game plan. 

One of the ideas that settled in the quickest was to start reading with a bowl of candy.  I would then start of the reading and then randomly call a name to continue the reading.  If the reader could pick up right where the other left off, they would get a piece of candy. 

In all honesty, I was told this idea a while ago... Haven't quite implemented it until today.  And all because of some prickings I received at our Stake Conference today. A meeting that I was determined not to go to because frankly, sitting in one spot for two hours, by myself with 6 children, is pretty much torture on my patience.  I went anyway.  

I went because I needed a little bit of heaven's help and I couldn't as well ask for it if I wasn't willing to follow His commandments.  And you know what?  It went great.  It really did. And above that, I was reminded of the blessings that come when I leave my nets and follow the Savior and go where He wants me to go.  I was reminded of the blessings that come when I read scriptures together.  Tonight became the night that the candy came out.  

A little bit of a side story...

Sometimes I have a tough nut to crack in my little family.  Often times, he is the one that doesn't quite make it into the family circle for prayer because he has some things he is struggling with.  I will take what I can get and will by no means force him to do anything that he does not want to in regards to these things.  Of course I long to have him with us, but I believe in agency!  

Tonight he was excited to start this new reading strategy and eagerly pulled out his scriptures.  He followed right along and participated.  I also need to add that the WHOLE experience was NIGHT AND DAY better than we have had in a very long time.  We made it through a whole chapter my friends.  Remember me mentioning miracles?!?  

After, we held our traditional family prayer.  I asked my son to offer it.  He did so, and as he was praying, this sweet young man who often has a tough exterior broke down in tears as he expressed his gratitude for the many things that has been given not only to him but to his family.  I don't think I have ever heard such a heartfelt prayer from his lips in a very long time.  The Spirit was there as he continued to speak.  I felt confirmed in this one experience President Hinckley's promise that was quoted before an added measure of love that can only come from the Spirit.  

I am grateful for a loving Father that is patient with his imperfect children.  I am grateful for the many witnesses that lead me to an answer and then the validation when experiences happen through other sources.  

I know the Master Artist who knows my beginning and the end and views my finished painting on a daily basis, appreciates when I lend my own brushstrokes to His plan.  I feel His hand leading mine as I paint Each and Every Brushstroke.